Are there people in your life that you feel the need to walk on eggshells around? Do you sometimes get a little irritated with friends, family or coworkers and feel guilty for standing up for yourself? Does the mere act of experiencing an angry emotion, or doing anything that will make you unpopular, fill you with remorse and guilt? Do you spend your life trying to be what others expect you to be or avoiding anything that would make you unpopular?
This video from TEDxBoulder 2012: Rethinking Unpopular by Erika Napoletano is enlightening and funny. Erika talks about how at an early age we’re taught to down our honesty knob and turn up the one on polite. “It’s no wonder that by the time we get to be adults, we can’t honestly tell anyone around us who we really are, what we love, and what we’re feeling.”
Sometimes we’re just too polite because we are afraid to be honest. We can’t seem to distinguish between real honesty and “bat-sh*t crazy.” I believe that when we’re not honest, we eventually become “bat-sh*t crazy.”
- Stop apologizing for being human. In other words, do it when you have a valid reason but not for every little thing that you think someone will find fault with.
- Be sincere, honest and true to who you are.
- Surround yourself with people who belong. Not everyone belongs in your circle. Don’t allow someone you wouldn’t be close with block you from expressing your authentic voice.
People who put up a good facade, appearing perfect….. well, they make me nervous because it feels like I have to live up to their expectations. Don’t you hate that?
And when I see beyond the face they show the world, and see their humanness, their vulnerabilities, and strength to be unapologetic for being human; I feel a connection.
Real, authentic, flawed, human, sincere, courageous, humorous, (I should add humorous X ten because laughter is the BEST!) Anyway…. you get what I’m saying.
I was raised in a passive aggressive family. You know, the angry smile?
Always be yourself.
Never try to hide who you really are…
The only shame is to have shame.
Never regret the past…
it is a waste of time.
There is a reason for everything.
Every moment of weakness….
Every terrible thing
that has happened to you.
Grow from it.
The only way you can
ever get the respect of
to show them
that you respect yourself.
And most importantly…
do your own thing and
never apologize for
being you. – Unknown